Bet On Yourself. . . . Start A New ???

Hi Everyone,

How often do you focus on yourself, your own needs or your personal growth? I have found that we think that we give ourselves time to grow and develop, but more often it is in the context of work or career, not necessarily personal.

This month, my weekly post will offer four ideas or areas of focus for Betting On Yourself.  You may find that you have already focused on the areas and ideas presented, but maybe it’s time for a refresher.  My challenge to you this month is to check in each week and perhaps consider starting something new.

Since this is also the month in which women are recognized for their contributions and achievements, March 7^th is International Women’s Day, my series will begin with a topic that if of concern to many women, especially in the workplace. Impostor Syndrome. The remaining posts, in this four-part series, will cover a look at self-care, finance and budget and finally starting a new hobby or business.

 I would like to remind everyone again that I am not an expert on any of the topics mentioned, but have successfully navigated them during my life, have researched, or have helped others in their journeys to success in these areas and to living a more Bountiful Life.

Living a Bountiful Life addresses living a life that is fulfilling in mind, body and spirit.  Although Impostor Syndrome has been found to exist in the thoughts of both women and men, most of what I’ve focused on today, will be related to women. This is not saying that men won’t be able to find benefit from some or the ideas or suggestions within this post.

Bet On Yourself . . . . A Look At Ways to Deal With Impostor Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome also referred to as Imposter Phenomenon was first brought to the public’s attention in 1978. It was given a name based on the research and article by Pauline Rose Clance & Suzanne Imes. That means that this phenomenon has been around for quite some time. Why is Impostor Phenomenon seemingly so difficult to overcome? I think that we would have to take a look at some reasons why it may exist. It would have to be determined why some feel that they are not enough.

I have only been aware of the term for the past few years. So, what exactly is Impostor Syndrome or Impostor Phenomenon? Impostor Syndrome is a state used to describe high-achieving individuals who, despite their successes, fail to internalize their accomplishments. These high achievers have persistent self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud or an impostor.

People with impostor syndrome struggle with accrediting their performance to their actual competence, abilities and self-worth, but instead to other factors such as luck or help received from others. On the other hand, they easily accept or blame any failures or setback as proof of their incompetence or their professional inadequacy.

Since this “syndrome” seems to affect women more so than men, and ethnic minority groups more so than whites, it creates cause to wonder if this term or label, should be used to describe those who have these feelings. Or, should the environment in which they perform that creates or brings about these feelings be referred to as an environment capable of causing feelings of inadequacy or Impostor Syndrome?

Unfortunately, our society has been supportive or perhaps enabling to negative or non-supportive environments that exist within the workplace. Environments in which women and minorities can be made to feel as though they are frauds or are undeserving of the positions which they hold.

Like many things in our world, it appears after doing research and engaging in discussions about the syndrome, that a name was attached to describe the thoughts and behaviors of those having the feelings of being frauds. The label, naming or the “diagnosis” was easier to attach than to look at the environments that have supported male dominated performance standards as more acceptable or successful in our society and workplace.

The tendency seems to be to place the blame on those who feel inadequate in this restrictive environment and provide a new label for their feelings, rather than take actions to improve the environment. This is a tendency that has existed and been acted upon for many years, blaming the victim.

In other words, there have been external actions in the workplace and various other settings that appear to encourage a higher participation and acceptance of women and ethnic minorities, but where a different, not so encouraging, underlying current still exists. Feelings of inadequacy and unacceptance still prevail among the groups that have been outwardly, but not fully accepted. In this environment, it would be easy to develop feelings of stress, inadequacy, questioning why you are there and so on.  

This underlying current is so prevalent in our society that this blog post will not resolve the issue and may illicit controversy over the existence of its presence. I am not here to attempt to question the existence, but to hopefully offer some suggestions to those whose experiences cause them to hold these feelings.

First and foremost, YOU ARE ENOUGH and in many cases even MORE THAN ENOUGH!

My belief is that environments should provide true and honest support for every individual who is a part of it. The environment needs the correction, not the individual who holds the feelings that, more often than not, result from the environment. We will not resolve repairing those environments in this moment, so Bet on Yourself. We must always do what we must to ensure that we live a life that is best for us and also results in a Bountiful Life!

So how do you deal with Impostor Syndrome?

So, if you are an individual who has feelings of inadequacy, here are 10 suggestions:

1. Acknowledge the thoughts and put them in perspective. Simply observing that the fraudulent thought has crossed your mind can be helpful. You can then address the reality of the thought instead of acting upon it. Become consciously aware of the conversation going on in your head when you’re in a situation that triggers your Impostor feelings. This is your internal script.
2. Reframe your thoughts. Remind yourself that the only difference between someone who experiences impostor syndrome and someone who does not is how they respond to challenges. People who don’t feel like impostors are no more intelligent or competent or capable than the rest of us. They simply think differently. So instead of thinking, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” tell yourself “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.”
3. Share what you’re feeling with trusted friends or mentors. People who have more experience can reassure you that what you’re feeling is normal, and knowing others have been in your position can make it seem less scary. If sharing does not seem to be enough for you and you want to explore further, researchers recommend seeking out a professional psychologist.
4. Remember, most people experience moments of doubt, and that’s normal. The important part is not to let that doubt control your actions. The goal is not to never feel like an impostor. The goal is to realize that you can still have an impostor moment, but not an impostor life.
5. Recognize your environment.  A sense of belonging fosters confidence. If you’re the only or one of a few people in a meeting, classroom, field, or workplace who look or sound like you or are much older or younger, then it’s only natural you’d sometimes feel like you don’t totally fit in. Instead of taking your self-doubt as a sign of your ineptness, recognize that it might be a normal response to being on the receiving end of social stereotypes about competence and intelligence. 
6. Develop a healthy response to failure and mistake making. Henry Ford once said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Instead of beating yourself up for falling short, do what players on the losing sports team do and glean the learning value from the loss and move on reminding yourself, “I’ll get ’em next time.”
7. Right the rules. If you’ve been operating under misguided rules like, “I should always know the answer,” or “Never ask for help” start asserting your rights. Recognize that you have just as much right as the next person to be wrong, have an off-day, or ask for assistance. 
8. Completing a task confidently is not about not making mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable, especially when doing something new. Confidence includes knowing what to do when mistakes come to light and therefore is also about problem solving and decision making.
9. Visualize success. Do what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand picturing yourself making a successful presentation or calmly posing your question in class. It sure beats picturing impending disaster and will help with performance-related stress. 
10. Reward yourself. Break the cycle of continually seeking approval from others, and then dismissing external validation that you receive. Learn to pat yourself on the back. Allow yourself to accept that you are successful. Even if you must force it, give yourself credit.

I realize that a list of suggestions is not the total solution, but they are a place from which to begin. By no means is my intent to discount the feelings of being a fraud or impostor that some feel on a regular basis. Again, know that YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. . . .

“Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you’re confident even when you’re not.”

~Vanessa Hudgens~

“Learn to bet on yourself and have confidence in your decisions. No one knows your business better than you.”

~Leah Busque~

“May you choose yourself, always!”

~Malebo Sephodi~

**DISCLAIMER~PLEASE NOTE**– I am not a medical professional. This post is based upon my own experiences and is not intended to suggest that others take it as professional medical advice. Always consult your medical professional before making any changes to your medication or lifestyle.

Your Future Pilot to Transformation,

BA Design ~ MA Ed ~ Certified Life Coach ~ Workshop Facilitator